Holy chips, memshahibs. It’s Sunday, bloody Sunday, and it’s time for another too-many drinks in front of a classic film. Well, we say classic. It’s Last Action Hero. Boozin’ rules after the jump.

Drink every time the following events take place:
– Any celebrity cameo, including in cardboard or animated form (Danny DeVito’s the cartoon cat, yo)
– Any sign that should totally have been a giveaway that the film would be a box-office stinker
– Austin O’Brien’s dickhead hair gets on your nerves
– Something happens that was probably really fucking clever in the script, but didn’t really pan out
– Charles Dance does something really villainous in a slightly camp panto style
– Fuck it, anyone says “Jack Slater”. We’re a bit pissed putting this together to be honest. Seriously, get hammered.
– There’s a homage to a classic film (The Seventh Seal, ET etc)

Drink whatever’s near you at these lines:
– “I’m a comic sidekick!” (Fun fact, trivia fans: our mate Cresswell, the evilest man in the world, thought the line was “I’m a common psychic” and adopted this as a kind of shitty catchphrase for about a month when he was 11)
– “Big mistake”
– “To be, or not to be… not to be”
– “I’ll be back”

Consider moving onto industrial bleach at this, the worst line in cinema history:
“You wanna be a farmer? Here’s a couple of acres!” [kicks man in balls]

This has all been done by memory this week, as we forgot to illegally download buy the film in time. Bollocks. Sorry. Haven’t watched it in years, and sort of feel we’ve let you down a bit with it this week. Next week’ll be better, we promise.


We want to terrify you!