Celebrate your Easter Sunday by drinking yourself stupid. Just follow these simple rules:
Take a drink any time the following happens:
- Jackie Chan incapacitates someone using his surroundings (double-gulp if he does it without hitting them).
This rule also applies to any other film featuring Jackie Chan.
- Any reference is made to Sherlock Holmes or Arthur Conan Doyle.
- You hear an obviously artificial sound effect.
- A real character from history is mentioned or appears on-screen.
- Owen Wilson doesn’t really seem to be helping at all.
- Anything happens that reminds you of another film.
Take a massive fuck-off gulp when:
- Jackie Chan is seen fighting in anything that revolves.
- Owen Wilson misinterprets a British word or phrase.
- You see a British flag.
- Subtitles are displayed on-screen.
Take a huge glug for the following lines:
- “I call that my kung pow chicken.”
- “We have parents who love us. You don’t, ’cause you’re an orphan!”
- “You decadent Philistine!”
- “You know what I call him? Not Roy O’Bannon. Roy O’Boloney!”
- “Hold it right there, Rathboner!”
Drain it when:
- Jackie Chan does his not-entirely-convincing-and-just-a-little-bit-racist impersonation of an Indian Maharaja.
- Some random joins in with the prostitute pillow fight.
- A firework defies the laws of physics.
We want to terrify you!