Are you a kick-ass writer? Do you want to get paid to work for the best website in the world? If they’re not hiring, do you fancy working for Wastechester?
We’re after new writers, funny motherfuckers who know their asses from their elbows and have so many ideas it hurts. If that’s you, send a CV to firstname.lastname@example.org with “I am a writer” in the subject line and we’ll be needing the following things listed after the jump:
ONE: Two ideas for Wastechester features. Be as detailed as you like.
TWO: A 500-word review (written in the WC style) of a film, album, place, person you’ve slept with or inanimate object you’re fond of.
THREE: The name of somebody you’d love to interview for Wastechester – and three questions you’d ask them.
(Sorry, but due to the large number of job apps we receive and our raging alcohol dependency we regret that we won’t be able to respond to non-successful sender-inners.)
DESIGNERS! WE ALSO NEED A DESIGN INTERN!
WASTE – the world’s sexiest, bestest website – is also looking for a design intern to join its art team. The role will suit a rookie designer desperate to get into the competitive website field who can demonstrate a can-do, willing-to-learn attitude. It’s the best internship you’ll ever have outside of cheerleader-greaser-upper.
ABOUT THE ROLE: • This is an internship role, where you will be working as part of a busy art team. • It’s a six-month internship with pay. You won’t get rich here, but you will get drunk. • The role will involve working across the website and other projects. • WASTE is great.
ABOUT YOU: • Enthusiastic and bursting with ideas. • Keen attitude towards learning new skills and taking direction. • Passion for magazines and page layout. • Immersed in the WASTE world, with an interest in fashion, music, trends and sexiness. • Demonstrable ability in layout is essential. This can come in the form of a college/uni project, website etc. • Internet experience is advantageous but by no means a must. • Skilled in InDesign, Photoshop and Illustrator. • Keen interest in typography and illustration. • Web skills preferable but not strictly essential.
TO APPLY: Send the following to email@example.com with the subject line ‘Design Intern’ • Designed, PDF CV (no Word documents). • Short covering letter telling us a little about yourself. • A digital version of your portfolio sent in PDF format. • A pair of boobs or a pizza. We like boobs & pizza. If you can attach a pair of tits and or a pizza to your email, that would be lovely.