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I SCAMMED A SCAMMER

I got this email from some scammer claiming to be my friend through my buddy’s hacked email. Since I love to waste criminals’ time, I never pass up these valuable opportunities to fuck with scammers.

Scam a scammer after the jump.First contact:

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Since I am not giving the overseas scammer any real valuable personal info, I jump at the chance to help by offering to send money — signed, Hal Peterson.

I’ve already done the following things for our friend: A. told him I’m sending him a shitload of money; B. mentioned a fictional friend, Felicia; C. asked to be paid back; D. asked personal questions about his family with multiple choices; E. asked if he needs a ride from the airport. He, of course, skips all the personal questions and goes straight for the Western Union money transfer.

On the next email, I inform him that since it’s Sunday, Western Union is closed. Too bad. I also hint that me sending him money is kinda putting me in a bind because of Felicia’s “dental trauma.” Notice how Gmail is now warning me that these emails are probably a scam. Two emails from him in a row. The 7,000 Euros offered has dropped to 3,000. I look up Western Union’s site and research how to send money. I make a fake MTCN number to keep it official and remind him to “brush his teeth.” He urges me to transfer the money online and finally promises to pay me back. This stranger’s word is good enough for me.

He’s starting to freak out about Western Union not having his cash after he waltzed in with a legit MTCN number. Say it ain’t so! Notice how he sends yet another two back-to-back emails wanting to hear from me. Hold your horses, guy, I’ve got stuff to do.

Here’s where I spiced it up: I checked my made-up MTCN number and guess what? It’s totally made-up. I reassure him that it’s correct and even offer him a screen grab from my bank account to show him that I did indeed transfer $3,000. The way I did this is by transferring money from my savings account to my checking account so that I would have evidence of a $3,000 transfer. Excessive? Maybe, but I felt like some hard proof was in order if I was going to keep this dude on the hook. It didn’t cost me anything either except for one day’s interest on a savings account, which ain’t much in these sub 1% times. Dude drives a hard bargain. He notes that the money is “pending” and presses me to resend the money. Whose D do I have to S to please this guy? Doesn’t he know me and Felicia are worried sick? Also, note the “I will pray for you” in my email. I think it’s a nice touch as I’m trying to make this dude feel like a shitbag the whole time.

Now, I send him another email showing him another screen grab from my checking account. This one shows that the $3,000 has cleared (it’s no longer pending). Chew on that, fake friend! I also express my concern that the money has cleared — but he still doesn’t have it! How can this be?! Homey still has tunnel vision for those sweet, sweet Euros and ignores my concerns for the whereabouts of my original transfer. He pushes me to RESEND a Western Union. Who the fuck uses Western Union anyway besides Nigerian? Throw me a bone and at least tell me you feel bad for my fake $3,000 that has vanished before hitting me up for more cash. Tenacious little fucker.

The story concludes with me offering a local friend’s services to help. After a little Wiki search on what the fuck the police department is called in Barcelona, I offer the scammer refuge in the arms of my fake buddy, Senor Vasquez. I guess mentioning the police was the tipping point because he don’t send me flowers… anymore.

-KENNEDY


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