The tabloids are ablaze with stories of children committing unspeakable crimes, and for me, that’s entertainment, my friends. Prepube perps and tiny tyrannical terroristic tots are takin’ it to the streets. The kids are out there rapin’ and murderin’ and robbin’ and dope-dealin’ and burnin’ buildin’s to a crisp, and I’m lovin’ every frickin’ goddamned cocksucking motherfucking minute of it.

See how third grade students planned to kill their teacher after the jump!