SUNDAY AFTERNOON DRINKING GAME: ARMY OF DARKNESS

Holy cats, it’s the weekend again.

That can mean only one thing: illegally streaming a kick-arse film and getting woefully shitfaced. This week it’s the 1993 Sam Raimi masterpiece Army Of Darkness. Rules below!

First off, there are loads of different versions of this. Our personal favourite is the one with the post-apocalyptic ending, but we’ll try to cater for fans of all versions with this.

Drink every time one of the following takes place:

– Any kind of montage
– Ash just happens to have really useful shit in his boot
– Killer shot of the Oldmobile
– Ash gets hit in the face
– Ash does SCIENCE
– Ash bollockses something up (magic words, magic potion etc)
– Something happens that is so fucking cool you nearly piss
– Any character’s beard is unconvincing
– Ted Raimi appears playing a different character
– An awesomely-unlikely bit of slapstick takes place, like the Three Stooges jabbing-in-the-eye moment

Drink at these amazing lines:

– “You ain’t leadin’ but two things right now, Jack and Shit. And Jack left town.”
– “Yo! She-bitch!”
– “Give me some sugar, baby”
– “Little goody two-shoes!”
– “Klaatu…. barata… nghgkgngnngng!”
– “I ain’t that good” OR “Good… bad… I’m the guy with the gun.”
– “I SLEPT TOO LONG!”
– “Hail to the king, baby”
– “Get the fuck out of my face”
– “Honey, you got reeeeal ugly”

Down whatever’s in front of you when:

– The Oldsmobile drops from the sky
– Ash’s stump slides beautifully into the back of the chainsaw
– Two rivals embrace, leading a huge crowd to cheer wildly
– You see a copy of Fangoria

BONUS! Induce vomiting if:

– Anyone watching it for the first time says, “That wouldn’t happen.”

Next week: The Mighty Ducks