You’d better be reading this at 88 miles per hour, because it involves TIME TRAVEL. Specifically, it involves traveling back to 2007, back in the mists of time, to listen to Calvin Harris's 'Acceptable in the 80's.'

When it came out, though, the world wasn’t as awesome as it is now – there was no such thing as Tinder, 4G was a madman’s dream, Pizza Hut didn’t put sausages in the crusts yet and Adventure Time wasn’t invented. The past was bullshit.

We want to terrify you!