First off, there has never been a movie poster as great as this in the history of ever. The artist, Drew Struzan, is best known for his work on the Star Wars and Indiana Jones posters, but this is clearly his best work. Right, that done with, it’s time to get drunk enjoying this hella-fun 1986 classic. Booze rules after the jump. Actually, booze rules most of the time. Ka-ching ka-chong!
Drink every time the following takes place:
– You envy Jack Burton’s vest
– You (slightly racistly) get the impression that everyone Asian knows martial arts
– Jack fucks something up
– Jack says something hilarious (this includes when he calls Lo Pan “Dave”)
– Massive historical accuracies
– Jack gets hit in the face
– A special effect isn’t particularly special, and doesn’t have the desired effect
– Every sighting of the floating eyeball
– A floor caves in
– Any reference is made to what “ol’ Jack Burton says”
Drink at these points:
– Thunder, Lightning and Henry, or whatever they’re called, show up
– First encounter with Kim Cattrall
– Hollow wall! Fuck it!
– The Pork Chop Express!
– The Chang Sings show up
Drink at these lines:
– “This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I’m talkin’ to whoever’s listenin’ out there”
– “I took something. I can see things no one else can see. Why’re you dressed like that?”
– “Are you crazy… Is that your problem?”
– “Shut up, Mr. Burton! You are not brought upon this world to get it!”
– “Nothin’ or double, Jack.”
– “We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn’t we, Wang?
– “Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine, because I can’t concentrate when you do that.”
– Feel pretty good. I’m not, uh, I’m not scared at all. I just feel kind of… feel kind of invincible.”
We want to terrify you!