Holy cat tits, it’s almost the weekend again.
That can mean only one thing: popping a kick-ass film and getting woefully shitfaced. This week it’s the 1988 George Lucas masterpiece Willow.
- That baby is in danger! You can argue that the baby is in danger pretty much the whole movie, but drinks should be reserved for, say, dangling from a flying eagle or floating down some rapids on a raft made out of weeds.
- Something magically transforms from one object into another. For example, from a rock into a dove. We are pretty sure this is the method John Woo uses in his movies.
- You see some awesome braids. Bonus points for beard braids!
- The baby is happy. Something about drinking to a baby smile just feels right.
- Those horrible dog-monsters are running around raisin' hell. I thought they were scary when I saw the movie, but finding out that there were Rottweilers underneath those costumes did NOT make me feel any better.
- You see bones (e.g., skeletons in cages, random skulls, badass skull-masks, or little tiny magic bones that don't work).
- Someone says "Madmartigan." Some argue that Willow is Val Kilmer's hottest role, others say Top Gun is his best. But we can all agree it wasn't The Saint.
- You see a new type of creature. [SPOILER ALERT:] Apparently director Ron Howard designed the hideous two-headed castle monster after his brother, Clint Howard. What the fuck, Ron?
- Take a sad sip whenever someone addresses a Nelwyn by the slur "peck." (Note: you might as well just waterfall for Madmartigan's racist rampage.)
- Take a bite of brownie whenever the Brownies jump into the fray! Are they mythical fairy creatures or just tiny French-Canadians? You decide.
We want to terrify you!