DRINKING GAME: Willow (1988)

DRINKING GAME: Willow (1988)

Holy cat tits, it’s almost the weekend again.

That can mean only one thing: popping a kick-ass film and getting woefully shitfaced. This week it’s the 1988 George Lucas masterpiece Willow.


  1. That baby is in danger! You can argue that the baby is in danger pretty much the whole movie, but drinks should be reserved for, say, dangling from a flying eagle or floating down some rapids on a raft made out of weeds.
  2. Something magically transforms from one object into another. For example, from a rock into a dove. We are pretty sure this is the method John Woo uses in his movies.
  3. You see some awesome braids. Bonus points for beard braids!
  4. The baby is happy. Something about drinking to a baby smile just feels right.
  5. Those horrible dog-monsters are running around raisin' hell. I thought they were scary when I saw the movie, but finding out that there were Rottweilers underneath those costumes did NOT make me feel any better.
  6. You see bones (e.g., skeletons in cages, random skulls, badass skull-masks, or little tiny magic bones that don't work).
  7. Someone says "Madmartigan." Some argue that Willow is Val Kilmer's hottest role, others say Top Gun is his best. But we can all agree it wasn't The Saint.
  8. You see a new type of creature. [SPOILER ALERT:] Apparently director Ron Howard designed the hideous two-headed castle monster after his brother, Clint Howard. What the fuck, Ron?


  1. Take a sad sip whenever someone addresses a Nelwyn by the slur "peck." (Note: you might as well just waterfall for Madmartigan's racist rampage.)
  2. Take a bite of brownie whenever the Brownies jump into the fray! Are they mythical fairy creatures or just tiny French-Canadians? You decide.

We want to terrify you!